Happy Birthday Jake!!!

I have been super light on the posting these days, and don't anticipate I'll have enough time for the next few months to really get consistent with it, but I did want to post a quick 'Happy B-day' to my honey. Today Jake turns 27, and so far it's been a pretty pleasant, yet uneventful day. It's been the year of home gifts-- dishes, towels, and deep fryers...I feel like we're getting wedding presents all over again.

We don't have any huge plans for birthdays this year, which is kind of abnormal for this house; I make it a point to set aside a full 'Birthday Week' celebration for each of us to keep with the traditions from my family, and usually Jake's begging me to STOP GIVING HIM STUFF FOR HIS BIRTHDAY by the time its all said and done. This year, we're playing it pretty low key...for our joint birthday gifts to each other we went to the Lion King two weeks ago, and that was fantastic, but unfortunately that left us with no excitement for the actual birthdays...

So I'm off to take a birthday nap with my sweetie and we'll see where the night takes us. I'd love to post a mushy heartfelt post about him and how wonderful he is, but he wouldn't know how to get to my blog even if he wanted to, and I'm not thinking the rest of you really want to hear about this amazing husband I happen to have...so we'll just leave it at Happy Birthday JAKEY! :)

More Ice Cream Please

So...what to say about today? (I must apologize in advance to my mother-in-law who despises the following phrase) IT SUCKS. I won't go into detail and list all the events that have led to me wanting to kick an unsuspecting stranger in the kneecap, but trust me...that's the point I've reached, and it's hardly 1 in the afternoon. So instead, I'm still in my pajamas and am catching up on the last week's worth of my soap that I have to DVR. Yes...those of you that think daytime soaps are 'below them'...I watch One life to Live every weekend marathon style while I fold a week's worth of laundry and do homework. Judge if you feel it necessary, but I've been hooked since I was a wee pre-teen and would watch everyday with my Mom (who would change the channel with the 'smut' scenes would play).

Outside we are finally getting our driveway excavated today and there is large machinery tearing up the entire yard. I can't get my car out of the garage to go anywhere and I'm stuck...STUCK I TELL YOU in my house until it gets leveled out.

I'm off to drown my sorrows in another hot fudge sundae!

Finally! First Visitors this Summer

Since we moved to Anchorage four years ago (Wow...it still is unbelievable that we've been here for FOUR YEARS...we planned on staying for a year to prove to our nay-saying family that we could handle all Alaska could bring...and now we'll be here forever...) Where was I? Right. Talking about the number of visitors we get. Until this summer, our routine was to drop off one bunch at the airport and pick up another group until the end of August when the smart ones retreat to much more sensible places to spend the winter.

But this year?? I'm not sure whether we should blame it on the economy or take it personally, but we are one day away from August beginning and we are only getting our first visitors to the great state of Alaska this season. What have we done with the summer since the usual tour guide trips haven't taken place? (Last summer I swore off Flattop, Saturday's Market, Whittier, and church in Girdwood after making weekly trips with new people). I'm not really sure...but Jake and I are back in the loop with all our fav TV shows and have gotten through five seasons of 24 in a month, so I'm actually really excited for the company and excuses to visit all those places I grew sick of. So, we get two weeks to hang out with Jake's little sis Jessica and her new husband Alex. It will be a blast; and we'll finally get to spend time with Alex, who we only met two days before their wedding last January.

Also, to give them a plug to whole four of you that read this: They are here for two weeks and will be bringing up their supplies for window washing---they have a side business to pay for school down in Pocatello. SO...if your windows look half as bad as mine, give me a call...They do a great job and are the cheapest you'll get around. *Win Win*

Okay maybe it wasn't this bad...

This morning, while attempting to appear busy at the office, Jake was telling my father and me about the outing he had with his friend Clint. They drove down to the Russian River, infamous for being one of the most red salmon populated rivers, and hiked to the falls where you can see salmon jumping through rapids and over rocks to continue on their journey of death. Jake continued to rant about what a wonderful time he had until we decided working wasn't all it was cracked up to be...isn't that the main reason people become self-employed? To slack off on a whim? We packed the car up and took of towards the Kenai Peninsula for a day on the river. Fast forward three and a half hours later, we were experiencing all the success we had dreamt about...meaning Jake and Dad had limited (aka caught 3 salmon), and I only had one left to catch before we were done for the day. As I ventured out mid-river, the boys began to clean the fish and pack them for the hike back out. And, keeping with the trend we'd enjoyed all afternoon, the first cast resulted in a huge salmon hooked. Because I tend to get overly excited when I catch fish, I was making a lot of noise cheering myself on while Jake and Dad continued to coach me to the shore to beach my prize. Suddenly, I heard Jake, in a low cautioned voice, say a dirty word.

As I turned around to follow Jake's eyes behind me, I came face to face with a brown bear, 20 feet upriver from me, entering the water. As I continued to inch towards the shore, both Jake and Dad stepped in between me and my new furry friend. Making an effort to scare it off, they both were waving all their extremities and yelling at the top of their lungs. And because I am obscenely ignorant in situations like this, I continued to fight with the salmon to get it on shore and bring our tally to 12.

Oh yes...and did I mention that this sow had two cubs? And that she was inching closer every second while keeping her eye on what she saw as a delicious free meal? (The meal being my fish and us being her only obstacle)... I just needed to make sure the tension was building appropriately.

Jake quickly realized that her goal was the fighting fish on my line, and instructed me to immediately cut it loose...and so I immediately began tripping over myself in my over sized waders in search of a sharp object as to avoid a sudden and excruciating death. As I cut the line, the bear must have continued coming towards us because it entered Jake's comfort zone, and he made the appropriate decision to shoot a round in the air with his .45.

As the smoke cleared, I saw the sow change directions, step back, and continue giving Jake one hell of a stink eye until she found her cubs and ran off up the hill.

Fearing that we were still in danger, I was trying to rid ourselves of the cursed fish that was still flipping around on the beach by kicking it back into the river. My Dad, an avid salmon eater, saw me trying to free a perfectly good salmon, and knowing we were bear free, started raving like a mad man to keep the fish on the beach. After all, one fish is worth two fillets, and two fillets is good for two salmon dinners. To ensure I wasn't going to continue attempts to free the little fella, Dad grabbed the knife I used to cut the line, picked up the fish, and cut its head off. At least he had his priorities straight.

Happy ending: We limited on salmon and hiked back to the car safely. Also, in light of the recent events, Dad decided it was a good time to learn how to use the bear mace he had been carrying around for protection for the last year. Nothing like a brush with death to make one realize the importance of being prepared.

Blah

Jake just ran into the house in a panic because evidently my shouts at the television can be heard twenty yards down the road. What can I say? Presidential News Conferences bring out my True Texan side...

Couric's Getting Funky

So its 2:30am, and I'm still up, unable to sleep thanks to my four hour nap this evening after an all nighter including the midnight Harry Potter premiere and a semi-successful attempt to dipnet for our annual sustinence salmon fishing on the Kenai.

I was watching CNN and Anderson Cooper had a blip from the website, www.autotunethenews.com. Can I just say HILARIOUS?!?! I was laughing as hard as I could without waking up Jake who's asleep on the couch across from me, but its worth visiting and browsing the site. One of these days I'll figure out how to put in the video directly on here but I just don't have the energy tonight.

Just like I said after the 'Musical Scrubs' episode, everything sounds better when sung.

Its Not That Bad

Yesterday brought the first bit of warm weather and sunshine we've had in weeks. Jake and I couldn't help ourselves, we got off the couch, out the door, and went on a hike. I know, from the picture this trail looks more like a walk on a gravel road...but Sitka did get hot and thirsty so we bushwacked it down to a creek. My shins have the scrapes to prove it.

As we were walking, I realized the background for Jake and Sitka made quite a Kodak moment. Look at me being all artsy. Days like that make me realize that even though life really blows sometimes, when I can leave my house, and in ten minutes be enjoying this kind of natural beauty and serenity, life really can't be that hard.

We'll see how I'm feeling the next time it rains.

May We Have Gratitude During Our Trials

Last Sunday the woman offering the closing prayer in church asked for the ability to show gratitude in the trials we face. In light of what Jake and I have been going through the last two weeks, this struck my attention and pierced my heart. Two weeks ago today, I miscarried our little boy at 16 weeks. Honestly, talking about it with anybody but Jake has been really hard for me. I know that when I am trying to offer support to somebody I love when they are dealing with a tragedy, well, frankly its awkward. I never know what to say, and offering advise or the cliche encouraging words never seem genuine enough.

With that said, there have been so many wonderful friends and family members that have said something that offered comfort. They've dropped by dinner when I realized I hadn't eaten more than a granola bar all day. Flowers were left on the doorstep almost every day for the last two weeks, and being the first home decor items placed in the kitchen, it made my house start feeling 'homey'. Some friends texted me a one line message of love and support that brightened my day more than I'm sure they ever thought it would. And, in a successful effort to cheer me up, my best friend, Erin, asked me to be her Maid of Honor in her wedding next summer.

But, even with the incredible people we have in our lives, it still hurts. A lot. And about the time I think that I am feeling better and moving forward, I have a day where it seems like everything happened five minutes ago. I guess that's the nature of grief...and it's excruciating.

I was not really sure how to post about this, or if I even wanted to. It seemed too personal, but at the same time this is the only record I keep of my life, and I felt it was important to do something. Then, that line from the prayer I heard came to mind and gave me an idea. I am going to post today about the gratitude I have for the blessings that have been given to me throughout this experience. Hopefully it will be uplifting for those who read and it will be something I can reflect on when I wake up and feel its going to be one of those days that knocks me back to square one in dealing with this.

First and most importantly, I'm grateful for Jake. I wish I was a better writer so I could adequately express how incredibly amazing he is. After five years of being married to this man, this experience has made me realize that I really can love him more than I thought I already could. To list the many, many ways he has been there for me would take weeks. But the last two weeks we reached a level in our relationship we didn't know was there. One that handed us a whole new perspective on what it truly meant to be an eternal family. He is my rock, and I truly could not imagine myself ever being without him. I love him, and am certain I will never doubt the strength of our relationship or ability to survive anything we face as long as it is together.

I'm grateful for the doubts that have been erased as to whether or not I'm ready to be a mother. After the positive pregnancy test, there were many fears, and even reservations on my ability to take on parenthood. I know now that I can care and love a child. I am ready for the challenges and blessings motherhood promises.

I'm grateful to have my testimony in my Heavenly Father and his plan for me tested. I know that sounds strange, but it has always been unusually easy for me to question how much I really believed in God, the plan of salvation, and my purpose here on Earth. I have lived a charmed life, with minimal challenges and very few tragedies. This miscarriage was easily the most traumatic and tragic event in my life, yet almost immediately after it happened I knew, without a doubt, that it was always supposed to work out that way. I had the knowledge that my baby was not to be born on this Earth and had already returned to my Heavenly Father. Never before in my life have I been so sure of my faith.

I'm grateful for the family and friends that I have grown closer to throughout this experience. My mother-in-law and I had an incredible conversation that made me start recognizing these blessings I've written about. My Dad shared an experience he had shortly after the miscarriage that increased my faith and gave me the comfort I was so desperately needing. We truly have amazing people that love and care for us.

I am certain that there are so many more ways I am growing. I know that the Lord truly refines us through these trials and tribulations, and only through pain can we experience the joy. I have faith that the time will come that we will view this as a hurdle we had to jump to reach our end goal. In the meantime, we will hold fast to our knowledge of eternal families and the plan of salvation.

So, to sum it up for our friends and family, thank you for the phone calls, e-mails, and text messages; they truly encouraged us. Thank you for the meals, flowers, cards, and treats; they went a long way into making our house feel like a home. Thank you for the prayers; we've felt ever one of them.

I'm Baaaack

This is my reaction to our first waterfall hike off the Hana Highway. The tourist book claimed it was a 'short jaunt'...but this 'jaunt' quickly turned into a horrifyingly small cliff side trail that offered no guardrail, rope, or anything else to stop me from plummeting to my death 1000 feet below. Jake thought my squatting down into a crawl position was humorous...but that's because he didn't realize I was sitting like this because I about peed my pants.

Holy cow, we leave for one week and it seems like the whole world fell apart while we were living in Paradise. North Korea blew up a Nuclear bomb; Priests are getting arrested at college graduations; and oh yes newest results show that Boston and New York are falling into the ocean within the century due to the melting Greenland glacier...and I got all this from ten minutes of Foxnews.

In any case, we are back and catching up on the numerous things you always seem to fall behind on while you're gone. What's confusing is that it seems like there's even more work than there was before we left...like there is an even higher abundance of dirty clothes in my laundry room, the spoiled food in my refrigerator has grown exponentially in only a week of not being opened, and my desk has three times the amount of papers stacked on it. It's like the little vacation elves visited my laundry room while I was gone and threw all our clothing in the hamper just to screw with me.

But, there is always a bright side to every dark cloud, and mine is that I'm still in the 'Hang Loose' attitude from our trip and I could really care less. So, I will be living in my own filth until I snap out of it...or Jake gets more motivated than I am to clean. Either way, we're heading home for a '24' marathon so Jake and I can catch up to the current season. Since we're only starting Season 3, we'll be camped out on our couch for a while. But how else are we supposed to celebrate buying our first big screen??

9 Days and Counting....

No...nothing baby related. A week from Saturday Jake and I hop on a direct flight to Maui for seven glorious days of bliss. Living in Alaska for four years (I cannot believe it's been that long) and never vacationing in Hawaii is practically a sin against the state.

Since last May, we have been working ourselves day and night on the house, and now that we have closed on our refinance and all pressure is off we are ready to party hardy...which for us means a Coke with possibly a shot of cherry flavoring...we'll see how crazy we feel.

In any case, this will be our first vacation we have taken that requires flying, not visiting family or attending family functions, and where Jake doesn't spend the majority of it in appraisal continuing education classes. There's sure to be lots of pictures when we get back~ but for now I'm just looking forward to a week where the biggest decision I will have to make is what swimsuit to wear and where to eat.

Coming to a Hospital Near Us This November

Our exciting news was posted on Facebook yesterday, but just in case there are few of you that don't use Facebook, we are pregnant! The due date is 11-23-09, and we just couldn't be happier that it all timed itself perfectly for us to finish the house just in time for me to be exhausted every day at 2pm. I have to say though, at 10 weeks, the pregnancy Gods have been very very nice to me. No morning sickness, no upset stomach, not even horrible fatigue (for the most part). I'm knocking on wood as I type this for fear of belated symptoms, but this whole thing seemed so abstract...until my ultrasound yesterday that showed a real baby with arms and legs. After our first ultrasound, I had a picture of a dot, but now I have a true blue picture and it's sort of freaking me out.

Its amazing that after years of trying to get to this point, we could be so shocked and awed, but we are and as it sinks in expect lots of anxious posts filled with questions I would love answers to.

Hello again

I'm not sure if anybody even reads this anymore---hopefully it will make it worth my while if I start posting a little more regularly---like more than once in the last 6 months!

This one will be a short entry as I am, just like the last year, pressed for time. Business is crazier than ever thanks to the incredibly low interest rates. Word to the wise: If you are a homeowner and can refinance, CHECK INTO IT! Even if you think you have a great rate when you bought a couple years ago, chances are if you've purchased in the last four years or so there's a good possibility you could save quite a bit in your monthly payment because rates are as low as 4.5% for a 30 year fixed rate. And I'm not even in the mortgage business anymore; considered me an informed third party. :)

In any case, the house is coming down home stretch, and for those that want pictures you will just have to wait until I chisel off the layer of sawdust, mud, paint, etc. that accumulats on EVERYTHING in the house daily since we are still finishing up the two bedrooms in the existing part of the house. But, I can tell you it looks better than Jake and I ever imagined it would and absolutely can't wait to move in full time and quit working on the house!

In a couple weeks I will post pictures and update y'all on what has been happening in our lives for the last 6 months. Eating McDonalds, working on the house and doing appraisals is the short story so let's see if more thinking won't give me more exciting news...